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August 02, 2006
Where to go?
I've had many discussions with friends about where we'd like to live, when we finally manage to escape the nuthouse formally known as California.
Oh, sure, the weather is moderate (although I'd call it mind-numbingly boring and changeless, a lot like death, too) and I'm sure there are other positive attributes, but the primary attraction is the proximity to family and friends.
On the other hand, the cost of living is very high, with real estate values ranging from ludicrous to insane, a state income tax in the neighborhood of 10 percent, and an unending series of seriously stupid laws coming from the politicians in a Tourette's-like explosion of spastic knee-jerk legislating.
Living in a comfortable but too-small house that's cheek-by-jowl with the neighbors got me thinking about how nice it would be to live on a couple of acres, far enough away to get the paper from the driveway without worrying about the nosey birdlady across the street calling the cops on me for indecent exposure -- it was a bathing suit, you guano-covered loon -- or having to listen to the neighbor's gangsta rap while trying to get some shut-eye.
A quick perusal of properties available in other states soon revealed that the million-dollar tract home near us would cost around $200-$300K in the rest of the U.S. Can you say, "Reality check"?
So, aside from the cost of real estate, it'd be nice to live in a state where my urge to stand up and salute when the Star Spangled Banner plays isn't viewed as a semi-fascist response; where flying the American flag is considered cooler than burning it; and where the U.S. military is viewed unambiguously as the good guys.
Also, four seasons would be nice, as they help mark the passage of time in a way made impossible by summer running into sorta-summer and kinda-summer, then almost-summer and then back-to-summer in our seaside paradise.
I miss fireflies in the summer, oppressive, sultry summer days relieved by the sudden violence of afternoon thunderstorms; crisp fall afternoons, kids jumping into huge piles of fallen leaves, breath ghosting in the moonlight as trick-or-treaters shiver on an October night; the thrill of opening my eyes in the morning and knowing that the unnatural brightness of the light streaming in through the windows can only mean one thing: a new snowfall, blanketing the world in a pristine blanket of powdered sugar; and the sense of renewal and promise as the first shoots of green appear on the trees, marking winter's departure and the arrival of spring.
Kim du Toit listed the process of elimination he used to winnow down the number of states that were possible candidates for good living.
If we were going to move, where would we move to?
[...]
Here are the problems we face, in considering a move. Places like Idaho or Montana would suit me okay, but, sooner or later, Tech Support would load up the Suburban with ammo and go and shoot up a town, just out of boredom. She jokes that she refuses to live anywhere that doesn’t have a Nordstrom’s within an easy half-hour’s drive—we have three around Plano which qualify—but it’s not Nordstrom’s per se she’s talking about: it’s the other kinds of shopping which cluster around Nordstrom’s because of the area’s demographics. We want to see more Sur La Table outlets than Rent-A-Centers, if you get my drift, and more Greek restaurants (there are five within 5 miles of our house) than Taco Bells (only three of those).
In short, we’re kinda cultural snobs (and not really social ones).
We’re not interested in Serious Culture—the Joffrey Ballet is not on our list of Things To Do On A Saturday Night—but we like classy joints, and don’t want to have to drive a hundred miles to find one.
What distresses me, in looking around at places all over the country, is the Blanding of America. Instead of a Mom ‘n Pop restaurant, there are six chain restaurants instead; instead of a couple of interesting bookstores, it’s all Barnes & Noble/Borders. Wherever I look, I could be just about anywhere in the United States.
That’s why I like smaller towns, as a whole, but unfortunately, just as smaller towns can’t support a Gap store, they also can’t support a Nordstrom’s. Or a decent-sized airport, which is another requirement because of Tech Support’s work.
And then you have Wal-Mart, which has stomped underfoot most of Retail America.
But the real problem is that when I do find a place that’s just a little more interesting than average, it’s politically part of the Blue Archipelago. Austin TX is an excellent example of this, as are Raleigh NC, Augusta ME, Asheville NC and Missoula MT.
So let me do the easy part, and list first the states which I will categorically never live in:
New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Maryland, Illinois, Hawaii and California.
Next comes the states which are politically okay, but they fail the “heat” test (I can stay in Texas for that):
Oklahoma, Arkansas, Nevada, Louisiana, Arizona (except maybe around the northern part), New Mexico (ditto), Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia.
States with "not enough winter" are:
Missouri, Tennessee (except maybe the extreme eastern part), South Carolina, North Carolina.
"Too boring" are:
Kansas, Nebraska, both Dakotas (except maybe S. Dakota around Mt. Rushmore), Iowa. We have “flat” right here in Texas.
"A little too liberal" are
Oregon, Wisconsin, Michigan (that gun registration thing), Washington, Minnesota, Delaware, Maine (I know that the liberalism is confined to the coasts and large cities/college towns in these states—but unfortunately, these states are dominated by said areas, politically).
“Too remote” and “not enough happening” are:
Utah, Alaska, Wyoming, Idaho, Montana, Vermont, W. Virginia.
“Prone to natural disasters” delivers a double whammy to several states: earthquakes (CA, western WA, western OR); tornadoes (KS, OK, eastern CO); hurricanes (FL, coastal GA, -SC, -NC).
What’s left?
Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Colorado, Virginia.
Actual towns/locations which come close, except for some unfortunate circumstances: Ojai CA (it’s in CA, duh); Carson City NV (remote); Petoskey MI (remote); Jackson Hole WY (except for the “Hollywood” influence); Flagstaff AZ (remote), and Bozeman, MT (remote), Fort Collins CO (little too pink).
Some which come agonizingly close: Camden ME, Portsmouth NH; Traverse City MI; Hannibal MO.
The last-named has a definite inside track for us. Both Tech Support and I can see ourselves living our golden years in a little house close to town/van down by the river, and reading Mark Twain to each other when we’re not shooting our .22 rifles off the back porch or spoiling our grandchildren.
We don’t ask for much…
The comments section of Kim's post had links to a couple of sites that quiz you about your likes and dislikes, finally presenting you with a list of candidates.
I took the tests at Find Your Spot and Best Places, and found the results to be interesting enough to get me looking at property online in areas I hadn't previously considered.
Bottom line: we could spend between $800,000 to more than $1 million for a bigger house on a little more land in our neighborhood, or get a 3,200 square foot lakeside house on a few acres for $325,000.
The choice seems simple to me.
Posted by Mike Lief at August 2, 2006 07:17 AM
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Comments
You should seriously think about Nashville, TN. Besides the things you mentioned, we have professional football and hockey, a great library, lots of good parks, a good school system (especially Williamson County to the south) and a lot of great older neighborhoods. Cost-of-living is reasonable.
Nashville is big enough to have a lot of cultural activities (museums, opera, theatre, symphony, etc) yet you can get just about anywhere in 20 minutes.
Posted by: Dave at August 2, 2006 12:37 PM
What about your neighbor, Kentucky? A lot of commenters at Kim's place were singing the praises of Louisville and Bowling Green.
Posted by: Mike Lief at August 2, 2006 02:05 PM
Two words: income tax. Tennesse has none, and is not likely to anytime soon.
Posted by: Dave at August 2, 2006 02:18 PM
I had to smile as I read through Kim's process of elimination, because with every criteria I knew Indiana was still making the cut.
I'm an air force brat and have lived a lot of places, but high school, college, and three years after college were spent in Indiana.
All the seasonal variety you could desire, ditto on the fireflies, acreage available at good prices as far as I know, and a refreshing shortage of unhinged loons, although trashy meth-heads are reported to abound.
Low on breathtaking scenery, unless you count cornfields (I *like* cornfields but wouldn't call them breathtaking), low on elevation variation, high on small-town festivals.
My dad was born and raised in Kentucky. It's similar, but with more hills, less cornfields. I don't know much about the Louisville area, but in general I'd go back to Indiana sooner than going to Kentucky.
Posted by: Anwyn at August 2, 2006 08:42 PM