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October 24, 2006
Real-life Seinfeld moments
Every so often life imitates art, when a slip of the tongue results in a moment of overwhelming social awkwardness, worthy of the ultimate show about nothing.
I offer two examples, one courtesy of Jay Nordlinger, the other wholly my own.
My wife and I took our three boys to New York recently, and we had a jaw-dropping Seinfeld moment. A Larry David moment, even.
As my family waited on a curb near our hotel, I stepped out into the street to hail a cab for that restaurant in Seinfeld at 112th & Broadway . . . but none in sight. Finally, I saw some a few stoplights away heading for us, and I said loudly, “Here come some taxis, or as I like to call them” — turning toward curb — “our yellow friends!”
And there were two Chinese gentlemen in suits standing next to my family.
Aghast and speechless, we all filed into the taxi, me in the front seat staring straight ahead trying to sort out what had just happened. After a moment I turned to the back seat and we all just sort of shook our heads.
I love that story. Reminds me of a time I committed a similar gaffe.
I work with a guy who suffers from a severe neurological impairment of his motor-functions; although he has to use a cane and occasionally takes a header, he's a talented attorney with a phenomenal memory.
One day, when I was in trial and working late, I packed up my stuff and headed home. As I was walking down the hallway toward the front desk, I saw my colleague slowly making his way toward me, laboriously traversing the length of the office.
As he drew closer, I noticed that he was wearing brightly-colored socks, visible beneath the cuff of his trousers. In my mind, I heard the words, "Hey, snazzy socks."
However, as we were about three feet apart, I listened in horror as I instead heard the words burst from my lips, "Hey, spazzy socks."
We both stopped and looked at each other.
"Sorry," I said, with a shrug as he stared at me, and we both continued on our way.
He never mentioned it again -- and neither did I.
I think my story's worse, as the fellow in the the taxi never saw his "yellow friends" again, whereas I am reminded of my jaw-droppingly stupid remark everytime I see my co-worker.
Posted by Mike Lief at October 24, 2006 05:08 PM
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Comments
Yeah, I teach in the special ed credentialing program of a local univerisity. Imagine my demise as I refered to something as "retarded". We all do it. It's the culture we grew up in. Fortunately, I think our children (and their children) will be more sensitive to the diversity that exists.
Posted by: Dawn at October 28, 2006 12:07 PM
Funny how despite our best efforts our mouths bollix things up. Some years ago I attended a diesel engine course that also had one female as a student. Sure enough, the only day I had to work with her I tried using the phrase,"..nicks and dings.." to describe the damage done to a surface the words came out, "dicks and nings..".
And I was conciously trying to avoid that very mistake. Murphy's Law I guess.
Posted by: Subvet at October 29, 2006 10:39 AM
My story is similar. In a meeting with the boss and several other VIPS, the boss decided to note my acting and theater interests to the group. He said, "you know [kamal] is a lesbian in a local production..." A 6-0, 200+lb, male "lesbian"? Yikes, good thing I have a sense of humor and asked if my shoes matched my outfit......
Posted by: Kamal at November 1, 2006 09:20 PM