July 01, 2007
Give me a break
The Los Angeles ABC affiliate just ran a segment on the morning news about the dangers of -- wait for it -- fireworks!
Viewers were treated to video of mannequins being subjected to their hands being blown off, heads disappearing with a BANG!, clothes bursting into flame, and any other mayhem you can imagine.
The moral of the story? Only a reckless fool would celebrate the nation's birthday with these unbelievably dangerous explosives.
In a rare moment of unexpected insight, wit and truthfulness, anchor Robert Holguin exclaimed, "What kind of fireworks are they using?"
Which is exactly what I was thinking. I grew up using fireworks, as have American boys for more than 200 years -- not to mention the Chinese who've celebrated the New Year with strings of 'crackers for more than two thousand freakin' years!
Honestly, this is like the Reefer Madness approach to drugs: use the absolute worst-case scenario to try and scare people away from engaging in what is really low-risk -- but undesirable to societal nannies -- behavior.
Neither I nor anyone I know lost essential body parts in gore-flecked explosions, nor did we char portions of our anatomy into carbonized hunks of ash and bone. The tests used to ooga-booga the public were essentially rigged, with the dummies obviously subjected to the a-bomb of firecrackers, the M-80.
Folks, even kids know M-80s are dangerous; we never fooled around with those bad boys, preferring to have fun with countless ladyfingers tossed, hurled, stuffed in toy models, and just plain old lit in the street.
Is there no activity that escapes the attention of the safety absolutist, so intent on eliminating all risk -- and all fun -- from childhood?
Bastids.
Posted by Mike Lief at July 1, 2007 07:53 AM
| TrackBack
Comments
If fireworks are addressed as threatening due to dry conditions and the unreasonable risk of wildfire, I can understand.
The thrust of this type of piece makes me bristle as yet another reminder of the "nanny" society we have developed into. According to the mothering cultural elites who would have our kids wearing crash helmets and eating tofu, our babies are just too precious, too soft to expose to even a hint of risk.
I'm surprised that the liberals in the California legislature haven't mandated that kids wear crash helmets 24 hours a day, or require "water wings" for anyone below the age of 18 who attempts to swim in water deeper than 3 feet.
Posted by: Bill H. at July 1, 2007 09:22 AM