July 21, 2009
Vanity, thy name is Man
What are men thinking when they try to ignore reality, in the hope that the watching world is either blind or stupid.
I'm watching a lawyer making an argument in court, and though it's possible that what he's saying has merit, it's impossible to get past the mothbitten, mange-riddled roadkill perched atop his head, well on its way to achieving immortality as the worst toupee in the history of not just this world, but all possible worlds.
There are some who say that a combover is the saddest sight, wispy strands of hair grown far-too-long, carefully arranged up and over the shiny, freckled pate in an act that is equal parts self-deception and a cry for help.
But I disagree.
There is nothing -- NOTHING! -- more ludicrous than the middle-aged man wearing his vanity atop his head like the possum I saw cooking on a hot country lane after being tenderized by the wheels of several tractor trailers.
Gents, it doesn't work; nobody thinks you've got a full head of your own curly locks.
Some of the most virile, manly men have gone full monty for years. Sean Connery has been slaying the ladies dead since the '60s, and he ditched the rug more than 25 years ago.
Patrick Stewart thrilled Trekkies throughout the Federation from the moment his naked dome took the conn on the bridge of the Enterprise.
And Dick Cheney makes conservative women swoon, chrome dome and all.
Be proudly bald, gents. You may not have hair, but at least you'll have your self-respect.
Posted by Mike Lief at July 21, 2009 11:13 AM
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Comments
I vote for the full shave of whatever is left. It's hot!
Posted by: Thin at July 22, 2009 05:42 AM