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February 21, 2006
Humor in Uniform
Joe Carter has penned a funny post on why a young man might choose the Marines over the U.S. Air Force.
It's all (mostly) tongue in cheek, so don't get upset if he gores your ox.
Make sure to check out the comments for some funny riffs on inter-service rivalry. This one's my favorite:
US Marine Corp Rules for Gunfighting
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.Navy SEALS Rules For Gunfighting
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.US Army Rangers Rules For Gunfighting
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound pack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.Army Rules for Gunfighting
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Determine "what is a gunfight."
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Tell the Navy to send the Marines.US Navy Rules For Gunfighting
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Send the Marines.KEITH J. PAVLISCHEK
COLONEL, U.S. MARINES
As a veteran of the U.S. Navy's submarine service and a serving member of the California SMR JAG Corps, attached to a unit of the Air National Guard, I'm deeply offended.
Okay, I'm over it. Funny stuff.
Posted by Mike Lief at February 21, 2006 07:56 AM
Comments
That explains the long line for the bathroom on the Navy's submarines!
Posted by: Thin Ice at February 21, 2006 11:07 AM
Mike: Good stuff. Keep it up ... and I still say you have too much time on your hands.
Posted by: Les Coil at March 17, 2006 04:34 PM